Final Author's Note

(Warning: Sappy earnest-posting ahead! Feel free to disregard.)

After 2.5 years, 120 chapters and over a million words, we have reached the end of this crazy journey. I didn't realize what a mammoth undertaking this fic would be when I started it, or how much it would take out of me by the end of it. But in spite of the rocky road it took me on, the mistakes I made along the way, and the criticism I got for it, I am proud of the result. I set out to tell a specific story, and I mostly succeeded, even if it wasn't always the story everyone else wanted.

The past two and a half years working on this project have been complicated for me. I found myself between jobs for a large chunk of that time, and writing this story became my primary focus for a while. It also became a major source of personal validation, in a way that probably wasn't very good for my mental health. There were days I was feeling down, but a positive review of the latest chapter would lift my spirits and get me through the day. Other times I would be feeling upbeat, only for a scathing review to tear down all my confidence and make me want to delete the entire story.

Writing a fic this long feels like a Sisyphean task sometimes. You have to have skin tougher than diamonds to subject yourself to scrutiny from thousands of online strangers with a variety of opinions. The unfortunate reality of the Internet is that it took 2.5 years for me to write this story, and just 0.25 seconds for someone to type "this sucks" and obliterate my soul. Sometimes I was able to laugh off the criticism. Other times it got right under my skin and made me want to crawl under a rock and never share my work online ever again. To this day I'll occasionally see my fic being mocked on Reddit or elsewhere and I'll want to launch myself into the sun.

But this is not meant to be a "woe is me" post. And I get it...allowing feedback means opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection. I can't begrudge anyone who didn't like the story for making their displeasure known. I simply had the "misfortune" of writing a story popular enough to draw a large number of people in, only to let many of them down when their expectations weren't met. I specifically wrote a flawed Harry that did not follow the typical tropes of time travel stories, and that rubbed a LOT of people the wrong way.

I can also admit that I got a lot of things wrong, especially early on. I didn't give Harry enough victories to balance out his defeats. I didn't let his positive traits shine enough while amplifying the negative ones. I let my desired plot dictate events in ways that required Harry to act particularly foolish. There is a LOT I would change about this story if I could start over from scratch, but after a certain point I couldn't do that, so now I have to live with the flaws and the negative response to them.

Ultimately, I wanted to write a story about redemption and grace. About giving more of yourself away to those who may not even deserve it. You were supposed to dislike Neville and be frustrated with how much leeway Harry granted him – it was kinda the whole point of the story. Similarly, Dahlia was meant to be annoying and bratty and a bad sister in the beginning, but she gradually changed as a result of Harry's proper treatment of her in return. Same goes for Draco, Ron, and other minor characters – a lot of folks do Harry dirty throughout the story, and rather than seek vengeance, he turns the other cheek. Being able to look past a person's surface flaws and forgive their pettiness may not be as satisfying as cold revenge, but it's a valuable tool for healthy living.

Maybe that's a matter of age and perspective as someone who's been out of his teenage years for a long time. People change a LOT after becoming adults, and suddenly the way they treated you back in primary school doesn't matter as much anymore. Holding grudges might feel good in the moment, but in the end you're only hurting yourself. And I like to believe that showing kindness and grace in the face of such childish behavior pays dividends towards building stronger relationships. You never know when a bridge you burned might be the one you needed to cross someday – I've learned that lesson the hard way.

I try to see the best in people and assume they have the capacity to change. That's considered a weakness by many, and I can understand why if you've been burned by people you trusted in the past. But I'm also a firm believer that you get from the universe what you put into it, and if you try to inspire positivity and show compassion to everyone, eventually you will have it returned to you. I think the canon Harry exhibits that mentality, sometimes to a fault...this is the man who named his kid after his childhood bully, after all. And while my version of Harry is definitely on the grayer side, I couldn't bring him to be fully dark, because he always has this light side that gives people second chances to grow and learn from their mistakes.

In short, I know I was going against the grain of typical time-travel "fix-it" tropes with this story. As fun as it is to see an OP Harry going sicko mode on his enemies without remorse, it always rang slightly false to me and against his character. This fic was my attempt at what it might ACTUALLY look like if the moody but still pure-hearted 15-year-old Harry was sent back in time, balancing his grudges and recklessness with a desire to do good. Did I succeed? Many will say no, but I'm glad to have tried something different either way.

I want to end with an impassioned plea to the fan fiction readership: be kind to your authors. There are not nearly enough well-written, epic-length stories out there, and after creating one myself, I understand why. Not only does it take a mammoth amount of effort, it is an exercise in masochism, as I had to endure two and a half years of the most vitriolic, hateful comments from detractors discouraging me every step along the way. Why would anyone ever willingly sign up for that?

Many of you didn't like my story and wanted to make your displeasure known. That is your right. But understand that in doing so, you are cannibalizing your own hobby and discouraging current and future writers from undertaking such a difficult task. Imagine pouring your blood, sweat and tears into a passion project for years, FOR FREE, and having thousands of strangers call you an idiot all along the way. Even though I could take what I've learned with this story and create something better in the future, I will never, ever write a fanfic this long again. That's 95% because of the assholes making sure that I am miserable the entire time.

And before you say that I'm just coping and refusing to face any kind of criticism: I see this all across the fandom, not just on my own work. Other highly talented writers, far more talented than myself, put up with this shit just as much as I do. One of my favorite ongoing fics, Genius Fratris, has had to lock its comments due to the author's declining mental health after facing a relentless barrage of criticism. Or check out the comment section of any TheBlacksResurgence fic, one of the most consistently entertaining writers in the fandom, and the horrendous things people feel comfortable writing about him behind a veil of anonymity. There is a human being behind every story you read, putting in a massive effort for your entertainment, and the feedback they receive is the only reward. When that feedback is relentlessly negative, why should they bother creating more?

Again, criticism is fine and an important part of the hobby. It's how writers know what is working and what isn't. But the WAY you criticize someone is just as important as what you say. Criticize with the aim of helping the writer make their story better. And if you feel they are not taking your criticism into account, stop reading. It's that simple. I was pulling my hair out having the same people pop up in the comments every few chapters, complaining about something that I knew was not going to change and would just make them show up and complain again. Stories don't have to be for everyone...spare yourself (and my inbox) and read something else! I'd rather lose disinterested readers than have them keep reading and whining when the story goes the opposite direction they were hoping.

We live in an era where AI is threatening to take over the act of content creation from humans. We've already seen a worrying number of slop accounts pop up in this space, generating safe stories with cozy and familiar elements to keep readers coming back for more. Some of you might not see the issue with this, thinking, "Well, then human writers should learn to appeal more to readers instead of writing only what they want!" But AI cannot create anything new and will never take risks, resulting in the same old shit over and over. Every popular trope you love had to start with somebody trying something different, taking a risk that people wouldn't like it.

So support the risk-takers! Art is dying because there is little incentive to innovate and deviate from the norm. If someone takes a risk that you didn't like, don't crucify them for it. Tell them politely what didn't work and move on. There was once a director who test-screened his new movie and was told it made no sense and would never find an audience. The studio wanted him to shut down production and salvage the budget they'd already put into it by dumping it in theaters without further refinement. But he was stubborn, sticking with the risky project and re-working it to make it better. That director was George Lucas, and the movie was Star Wars.

Anyway, after such a long time focusing on this project, I have to ask myself: what's next? I've had ideas for a sequel to this story in my head for a while, following Harry's next time-travel adventure to repay his debt to Death. But I doubt I'll begin working on one, at least not for a while, as I want to move on to other things and leave this version of Harry behind me. Which leads me to an exciting announcement!

I have written an original novel! It's called The Blood Games, and it is a dystopian action-thriller centered around a popular deathmatch sport in the near future, and a jaded athlete trying to find inner peace after a lifetime of fighting for his life. I am still exploring publication options, but you can follow my blog at my official website austindanielwrites d0t c0m for updates on my journey, as well as a sample of the book free of charge!

My focus will probably shift to original works of fiction from now on, so I am unlikely to publish any more fan fiction for the foreseeable future. But you never know when the HP bug might bite me again, so keep an eye on this profile in case I decide to start a new Potter adventure!

Finally, a heartfelt thank you to everyone who stuck with this story and left kind words along the way. For all the negativity this story attracted, the positive comments also gave me life and inspired me to keep going. I learned so much from this experience and hope to use that knowledge to continue growing as a writer. So whether you choose to follow me along for the next chapter of my journey or not, I'm eternally grateful for the encouragement and feedback (both good and bad).

TL;DR: Be earnest. Be sincere. Be kind. Be the type of person you want to see more of in the world. And never stop learning!

With peace and love,

bachau (aka Austin)

"Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable." - Cesar A. Cruz